Primal Story No. 1

How many human stories are there really?

Tragic

  1. Boy meets girl: they fall in love, they begin a happy life together, one of them dies.
  2. Boy meets girl: they fall in love, one of them is unfaithful, they wish each other dead.
  3. Boy and girl never meet: they live lives of profound loneliness and wish themselves dead.

Comic

  1. Boy meets girl: they live happily ever after, but mostly because they have no imagination.
  2. Boy meets girl: they live happily together for many years until their children cause them all kinds of headaches.

Epic

  1. Boy meets girl: they fall in love, they get separated somehow and spend the rest of their lives doing incredibly interesting things all in the pursuit of finding each other, only to discover they were seeking themselves, or the meaning of life, or some such grand theme everyone finds immensely interesting even though utterly predictable.
  2. Boy meets girl: they fall in love, but he decides he needs to sacrifice his own happiness (and hers) in order to save the world; they both turn out to be significant trouble-makers for all of society.
  3. Boy meets girl: they fall in love, the world decides they can’t be together, so boy and girl decide to sacrifice the world for the sake of their heroic love which they consider a cosmic connection but is really just addiction to lust.

Salvific

  1. God creates boy and girl: they do all kinds of crap, God forgives them and shows them a better way, because naturally, God realizes it’s all His own fault for having given them free-will but no sufficient self-discipline.

All of the above are really just 2 stories:

  1. Boy meets girl; anything can happen after that, and it’s all somewhat predictable.
  2. Humans meet God; surprises ensue.
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